


Scars

by DadIWriteGayPorn



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Age Difference, Ambiguous Age, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Brother/Brother Incest, Content approved by SCAR, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Experimental Style, Gay Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nudity, Other scars, Post-Coital, Post-Coital Cuddling, Scars, Touching, Trans dynamic, after sex - Freeform, safe and sane and consensual, surgery scars, talking things out, trans coded character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:41:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25666093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DadIWriteGayPorn/pseuds/DadIWriteGayPorn
Summary: after having sex, Hiro and Tadashi have an unexpected heart to heart  about Hiro's scars in the pitch darkness of their room
Relationships: Hiro Hamada/Tadashi Hamada
Kudos: 47
Collections: Erotic Writers United Taboo, Fanfiction Writers United Taboo Collection, Hidashi Hamadacest and Tadahiro, Sin Corps, only brothers (until they weren't)





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> Getting this out a few hours late, my apologies. This was unintentionally prompted in the Hidashi discord server and I couldn't leave it alone. Wrote 90% in a morning, did a quick general editing sweep. Completely unbetad but I think it turned out great. It's not really angst so much as minor hurt/comfort. This version of Hiro is open to individual interpretations. 
> 
> Potential TW: there is some semi-heavy talk about scars Hiro has. But even though some of them are coded as such (at first) they're not self-harm scars, nor were they inflicted by another person

"Hiro?"

Tadashi's voice, a little gravely after everything we'd just done, cut through my senses. I opened one eye, a little annoyed as I'd been right on the edge of falling asleep. Of course, the room was pitch black per my request, so there was nothing for me to see but the vaguest and barest of outlines of my older brother's shoulder.

"Ehh?" I grunted unglamorously. 

"You still up? I, um, I kind of wanted to talk." His voice was quiet and actually a bit nervous, which was ironic considering not ten minutes earlier he'd been pumping into me with such determined dominance I'd had to grab the headboard and keep my face pressed into his pillow to prevent my whines from being heard downstairs. 

"I am now," I grunted, rolling onto my back and sitting up a little. "What's on your mind, 'Dashi?" 

"Just... Something's been nagging at me," Tadashi said, sitting up as well as I stretched and tried (and failed) to swallow down a yawn. I cursed my reflexive throat internally as it happened, knowing yawning was a way the body woke itself up and wishing I could just go to sleep.

"Oh yeah?" 

I could feel rather than see him nod beside me. "Yeah. It's actually something I've wanted to talk about, well, ask, for a while. I just didn't know how to bring it up. I still don't, actually, so I'm going to dive in and hope for the best."

"No, I can't get pregnant," I said sarcastically before my brother had a chance to actually ask his question. "Doc says it's all wrong in there." I patted my lower belly on top of the sheets that were covering my nude form. 

Tadashi gave a nervous snort, probably gave a dismissive eye roll too knowing him, and pushed on. "No no, nothing like that, I think."

"Well then spit it o-o-out!" I yawned again, "so I can get some sleep."

Tadashi gulped. "Okay. Well.... Why do you always make me turn off the lights before we, um, m-mess around?"

The question was a gut punch. One that I had been dreading for weeks, actually. I clenched the bed sheets tightly and tried to fight off the urge to pull them up under my chin. In my exhausted state I hadn't anticipated it at all. I was still vulnerable from the sex we'd just had, and honestly was kinda naive thinking that such a touchy topic wouldn't come up when we were this beat. But here it was, being asked anyway. 

I decided to try and get as much avoidance through brattish humor out of me as I could, while I could, before Tadashi would inevitably shut me down and make me open up for him. The way only he could achieve. 

"You know, you can say 'we fuck,' or even 'we have sex.' It's a thing... A thing that we did. Doing it is worse than saying it. Well, better. But you're the big brother and I don't have a problem saying it." 

"Hiro." 

Tadashi's voice was quiet and stern. He always had a way with conveying larger things through just my name. Sometimes it was playful, inviting, and enticing. Sometimes it was sardonically scornful, as if he were saying _'you would be in big trouble right now if that hadn't been funny, young man.'_

But this time Tadashi was quite clearly telling me to knock it off. _'I'm being serious right now. I'm talking to you man to man. Please show me the same respect.'_

I gave a sigh of acceptance. "Sorry... It's just.... It's uncomfortable for me to put into words."

Tadashi reached over and squeezed my knee through the sheet. The physical touch gave me chill bumps. Ironically, even though we had sex fairly often, my odd little insecurity left me touch-starved. 

"Hey, no judging from me, I promise," Tadashi said. "I only ask because, well, you're the cutest guy I know! I count myself lucky every day that you feel about me the way I do about you, that I'm able to be with you like this at all. But because you're so gorgeous, it's difficult not to feel just a little bit disappointed when I can't even look at you, make eye contact, when we... When we fuck." 

I had to look away, even though neither of us could see the other. "I know, 'Dashi. I wish I could see you when we do it too! But, well, other things have kinda taken precedence."

"Things like...?" Tadashi edged closer and despite feeling flustered and looking away, I leaned back into the comfort of my brother's body, resting my head on his shoulder while my back pressed to his bare chest. 

"Are you insecure about how you look or something? I know you have that birthmark right on your left cheek," he teased a little lightly, "I bathed you enough when you were two to know that. It's cute, nothing to be ashamed of."

I almost laughed. That was so long ago I don't know how he remembered it. Hell, I didn't even remember it! 

"No, no, it's nothing like that. I like how I look, actually."

"Then what is it, Hiro?" Tadashi nuzzled softly into my messy hair. "I can't keep guessing."

I took a deep breath. I knew I was going to tell him. Honestly, I had known since he asked in the first place. But that didn't make voicing it any easier. 

"Umm... It's m-my scars." 

I spoke in a low murmur, sounding and almost feeling like a scared 3 year old again. 

Tadashi's demeanor changed from morosely curious to protective big brother again in a second flat. His embrace became more tender, and while he couldn't help himself in some ways, he made an effort to keep me comfortable and calm. 

"What, these?" He traced his fingers lightly over my chest, making me giggle as it accidentally tickled me a little. "I've seen your surgery scars lots of times!"

"Not... Not those ones," I said, nestling back in as Tadashi let his fingers rest again, so my head was tucked under the older boy's chin. "My _other_ scars." 

Understanding dawned on Tadashi. "Ooohhh! Oh.... Oh, Hiro... I didn't even know you still had those!"

"Well, I do," I told him, a little unnecessarily now and with an unintentional growl in my voice. "After mom and dad... Well, something like that doesn't just go away." 

"I'm not sure I understand, though," Tadashi's hand slipped down my chest, under the covers, towards my thighs. "Why would those scars have you scared? Why hide them from me? You know I love you unconditionally. And I know what they mean to you, but honestly scars are, well, pretty hot and kinda cool!" 

I was glad he was making the attempt, but for Tadashi that was a pretty tone deaf thing to say. I had to remind myself he meant well and resist the urge to pull away from him. 

"It's not because I'm insecure about them in general," I tried to explain, "or even that I have them. You know I think my surgery scars are fantastic! But scars have meaning, and those ones are... They're dark, Tadashi." 

"So's the room." 

Another wrong thing to say. This time I did twist away, wrenching my thigh out of Tadashi's grip. Tadashi immediately walked it back. 

"I'm sorry! That... That was a sucky thing to say," he reached for my shoulder but paused. "Could I... Could I at least turn on the lamp? I won't look at anything." 

I thought about it, glad he'd at least asked me instead of acting on it without my consent, then gave it with a nod. A moment passed. Nothing, then:

"Hiro? You still awake?"

Fuck, righ. Pitch black.

"Yeah, sorry. You can turn it on for a little bit." I impulsively tugged the bedding up higher on my body. I was acutely aware of where each and every scar on me was, and moved the sheets up to cover almost all of them but the ones from my surgery. There was still one on the back of my head and down my neck some that was unavoidable, but it was mostly concealed by my mussed black hair. Of course, the rest of me was hairless, so I didn't have anything other than pants and my blue hoodie to hide the other ones most days. 

I felt the bed shake and heard fabric shuffle. A moment later there was a tugging _click klink!_ and Tadashi's bedside lamp blazed on. 

I had to all but close my eyes as the all-encompassing darkness was replaced by the orange glow, but Tadashi wasn't doing too bad. From the small amount I was able to see, it seemed like he was only squinting a little. 

Tadashi tried to wrap his arms around me and pull me close, but I resisted. Not because I didn't want his comfort or anything, I was still just too concerned with those damn marks in my skin. 

"Okay, spit it out." Tadashi sat up properly and looked concernedly into my face. "You can't say you're not insecure about them, then act like this."

I glared at him for a moment, but couldn't keep it up. He was right, and he just wanted to help. That didn't make this any less uncomfortable, though. 

"Okay..." I sighed, "okay. But promise not to laugh at me!" 

"Scouts honor," he swore. I narrowed my eyes. 

"You were never a boy scout!"

He shrugged. "Cub scouts. Same diff. But don't change the topic. I promise I won't laugh."

I glowered some more, but he had me now, backed in a metaphorical corner. I heaved a sigh, then spilled. 

"Alright... It's just that I got them in... in the car crash... with mommy and daddy."

"I know, Hiro... But why would that matter now? I mean, I used to take you swimming and stuff! I'll admit it's been more than a few years since we've both had the time, what with SFIT and you graduating early. But still, I used to see your scars all the time and it never bugged you then."

"Because.... I'm worried that you'll see them now, and start thinking about mommy and daddy dying, and I'm worried it would, you know, kill the mood. When wegave sex." 

I had to look away again. Saying it out loud made it seem like such a childish worry despite its adult nature.

"Oh, Hiro...." my brother smiled smiled. _The nerve!_ But then he placed a hand on my stomach, lightly, and rubbed a little. I fought off a smile of my own. 

"Hiro, it happened so long ago, for both of us. Yeah, I remember waiting at the hospital for you, not understanding what was going on, and I remember... After. But I've had longer with you now than I had with them. And I mean... Your scars are cute!" His smile shifted to a smirk.

"I promise you, they don't kill my mood. They enhance it, if anything." 

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? That's.... Weird."

Tadashi laughed again and added pressure behind the hand he had on my tummy. "No weirder than what we just did together, little bro." His eyes gleamed and he shifted closer, reaching behind my head. His fingers brushed the back of my neck and stroked over the scar there. The nerves there had been dead for a long time, but I could feel the pressure, and it ignited more goosebumps all over my body, making me give the lightest of sighs. 

"Is this the pituitary troublemaker one?" He stroked over it more. 

"Y-yeah!" In the car crash that gave me that scar, I had been impaled by a shard of glass there. It had dug into my pituitary gland, which had never fully healed. That was one of the main reasons I still looked so young.

"Can I see the others now?"

I blushed, but found myself nodding. I only got two in before Tadashi was wrenching the covers off of me. My whole naked body was laid bare. My skin looked so soft in the warm orange glow of my brother's bedside lamp. It helped that I was hairless, even as a teenager. Sometimes I felt insecure about that, but the feeling came and went. It helped that Tadashi was insistent that he loved how I looked. 

Tadashi didn't even pay my privates any mind. His eyes sought out the various scars that marred my body. His eyes zeroed in on one on my stomach, just below where his hand had been rubbing a moment before. He moved before I could stop him. Not that I wanted to, I quickly found out. 

His lips touched it in a gentle kiss, but I couldn't feel it. I had two options. I could push him away, run back to my bed. Tadashi would understand if it got to be too much. Or....

I pushed his head down, making him kiss me fully and properly on my scar. It only lasted for a few seconds before he moved on to a new one at my thigh, but it was absolute bliss. Not physical bliss, but emotional. I found a whole thick layer of stress washed away with that one first kiss, and it was replaced with not only relief, but joy! 

Tadashi knew I needed it hard and kissed the next scar properly. I started sighing aloud like we were having sex again. Tadashi lifted one eyebrow and pulled back. 

"You're enjoying this."

"H-how long are you planning to...?"

Tadashi smirked. "Oh, I think I have to kiss each and every one of your scars before we go to bed, don't you?" He wiggled his eyebrows then glanced at my privates, exposed and with my legs slightly spread. 

"Might need to make a pit-stop along the way, though. Could take time." He winked. "But we have all the time in the world and nothing to do when we wake up. So lay back, enjoy yourself!"

He went back down then, and I had no choice but to heed his advice. I slipped down so my head was back on Tadashi's pillow, then closed my eyes and grinned from ear to ear.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm now a member of SCAR! They seem like a really good organization for more taboo fic writers here on AO3. And a great support system for the writing process  
> https://tiny.cc/NI0W4
> 
> Chapter Title Inspiration- Scars by IAMX. Highly recommend this one, oml it's so good!


End file.
